wild melody

its been awhile, but life is still beautiful. here are tonights reasons:  *tell me I'm not Irish enough to keep up with your lil war? challenge accepted! ;) *in some seasons, the best way to show love & say goodbye involves confetti, saranwrap, glitter, silly string, Miranda lambert & midnight & a friend's car. *Star Wars *texts that say "I love you" out of the blue from someone you know doesn't say it lightly. (& whom you kinda adores back) *fresh blueberries *windows down & open roads & lungs that can sing *wallace, comrade, arwen.  *God has a plan. & it's magnificent. even when I don't believe it.  *testimonies of answered prayer & hearing from a friend who just got home from Nicaragua *laughter *end it movement. thank God for this! there ARE believers with passionate hearts! who are not content to maintain a comfortable lifestyle, but instead are willing to actually live like Jesus: messy, engaging, uncomfortable. to res...

cold is the night without you here just your absence ringing in my ears hard is the heart that feels no fear without the bad, the good disappears long is the road that leads me home and longer still when I walk alone bitter is the thought of all that time spent searching for something I'll never find take this burden away from me and bury it before it buries me many are the days I've wanted to cease lay myself down and find some relief heavy is the head that gets no sleep we carry our lives around in our memories take away this apathy  and bury it before it buries me { steady is the hand that's come to terms with the lessons it has had to learn I've seen the things that I must do but Lord, this road is meant for two so I am waiting here for You } take my hand and set me free take my burdens and bury them deep take my burden away from me and bury it  before it buries  me {today's theme song_ cold is the night: oh hellos. Idk if they wrote it ...

tom petty, some mat kearney... modern day drifter & something that wild on repeat. the only time i felt ok today was driving the truck with all windows down. wish i could write out the restlessness in my heart. it won't stop the ADHD of my soul, but maybe it'll ease, if i try. ever since i was small, i'd get these fierce restless moods. i feel trapped. & i don't want to take it out on those i love so i tend to withdraw. i need to be alone, so i don't bite anybody's head off. cause i can't sit still & i can't do small talk & i can't keep my mind in the present. i forget to ask Jesus for self control & love. i'm try explain what i mean by restless: physical_spiritual_mental. i mean, i always have a bit of wildness in me. but feeling wild doesn't always involve restlessness. it's different. i want to be anywhere but where i am. i can't breathe deep. its not that i want to leave the people i love. it's not...

two elves & a hobbit went to GA last weekend. this post is about one elf and one hobbit being particularly hardcore Gator fans. not the tebow-bandwagon or the oh i live in fl and like orange & blue kind. our affinity for UF runs deep in our blood, passed on by grandfathers. we learned to love the game of football by watching college boys run around on a field in those blue & orange colours before we learned anything about popular teams. we also inherited a strong dislike of red & black when it is worn by dogs. one team to never ever cheer for or praise or in any way support? university of georgia. an alabama fan once said "georgia fans, always more obnoxious than most..." & its true. they are meaner & ruder about a good rivalry than most fans i've met. anyway. we love our Wesley more than any sport or team. she is not a fan of football. so we left our gator clothes & hats at home...but we did see an awful lot of gators in ga. we decided t...

this is going to be ramblish. all over the map, lemme tell you, cause that's where my mind is. words and i have a strange relationship...they intimidate me sometimes. they evade me, they confuse me, they have a way of shifting & sliding just out of reach when i am in very deep feeling or thought. i literally run out. which is odd if you've ever met me, i have that southern girl capapbility to talk non-stop about things i'm passionate about! i lose them. but there are times where they leap in and form themselves to the exact shape of my ideas. rare, but lovely moments. i love them in other people's hands. {sometimes} i hate when they're clumsily used or misused, when they're fake or artificial. a well-written book is a treasure to me, whether the plot is slow or fast, smooth or rough, fiction or non-fiction...the words matter. the phrasing matters. and my favorite kind is true. not true meaning "literal" or "reality" or "actua...

too much thinking for sleep. despite my attempts to turn off my mind, its as awake as the sun. i tried to cast my cares & trust strong grace, to still this loud heart that disrupts my mind... (i'm losing) so much life...the colour textures emotions realities shapes stories; these that create a felt existence threaten to overwhelm me with jumble. & hubbub & words go round n round in my head tossing              to & fro like waves                   playing with the shore. except if they really were waves, I would sleep                      sweetly peacefully                     to the sounds of their crashing.

God answers prayer. He's going to lead me, take me deeper than my feet can wander. He's teaching me to walk on waters that threaten to drown me. I may flounder but I will never sink. (ps 37.23-24) this, the sickness of disappointment, is where my trust is made borderless. adventuresome fears are easier to trust God in, easier to leap into. fears of being left behind or unusable are much tougher. the places i think will create a trust without borders, are not really stretching, refining places. in those seas I could sail by my own power; or my faith would crack & fail because I think more highly of my strength than I ought. but here? here in the mundane, in the seemingly insignificant, in the temptation of "every time I'm *actually* most excited about something I lose it" place? this is where my faith loses some of its boundaries. this where God smudges the sharp edges of the boxes I use to contain Him. here my faith learns to separate expecting good thing...