11.30.2006

}gratefulness{

(the glasses survived.)

((photocredit: dad went to see the car in the junkyard and took pics. i don't get why{?}))

I intended to write nothing about tuesday. But I've been persuaded otherwise, because it's a testimony of God's grace. & such excitement isn't an everyday occurrence...

Driving to work that dreary Tuesday morning was just another day. The usual cars ran the usual stop signs. I noticed a Ford 250 hauling a trailer facing me, waiting to make a left turn. Common sense said he'd be there a long time. My car was less than 20ft away when he started turning. I slammed my brakes...it was so fast there was no time to think. As the dust settled, I realized it wasn't a little fender-bender. My ford's hood had slid under his bumper. My seatbelt wouldn't come loose, my door was jammed; toxic smoke mingled with airbag dust. Claustrophobic fear washed over me as I stared at the truck grill inches away from my cracked windshield...God showed me such kindness. Not only did He stop the truck from coming through the windshield, but also He surrounded me with compassionate people. The truck driver told the cops the truth (I had the right of way). The driver behind the truck stopped and turned my eyes upward: "God's watching out for you. You've no idea how He took care of you today". The firefighters were hilarious & kept me laughing so I never had a chance to cry. ("where's your pulse?" "she doesn't have a pulse, she's dead.") Mum came and helped me get my life out of my car. (despite my ridiculous phone call. "hey, can you tell annie i'll be late to work? i've been in a wreck i'm fine. but the car's not. click.")
I didn't go with the firefighters to the hospital cause I was fine. I thought I'd make it to work in the afternoon...haha. By the time we got home, I was so dizzy and sick I could hardly see. I lost my breakfast & my right side went numb head-to-toe. Mum dragged me to ER. I was to out of it to protest. I don't remember much...signing my name best I could when I couldn't see the line...praying...involuntarily breaking down in tears, just wanting to sleep so I didn't feel any more...crying more cause I felt bad for whining...at some point dad came and prayed for me...the IV kicked in, pain lessened to bearable and I just felt like a fool. I laid there wondering why I wasn't dead, why I wasn't in a coma, why God saved me. Meanwhile, Mrs J called Mum for something and Mum told her. It seems half the church knows. My parents never even called anybody (i would kill them). There was nothing wrong internally so the ER folks let me go with prescriptions. I thought it wasn't that big of a deal, but Mum said maybe everything was clear because so many people were praying. I don't know. I don't think it matters. God is faithful. I have good friends either way.

One good thing to come out of this is that I'll pray more earnestly for the people I know battling cancer. They endure pain on such a grander scale that I can't even imagine. I can't imagine endless IV's, drinking contrasts, CT's, chemotherapy, needles, etc being my everyday life.

Thanks:
My fam, doing for me everything I couldn't do for myself, putting up with my out-of-it-on-painkillers-good-for-nothingness, (and the mockery) and telling me that forced sleep isn't laziness.
Beks, for bringing me P&P and dark chocolate and visiting with me
"the guys" for the prayers and thoughtful suggestions. "take her chocolate"
everybody else who took time out of their busy day to pray for me and call me. I was blown away. I'm sorry I was loopy, tomorrow is my last day on meds so I'll be more alert Sunday.

11.22.2006

thanksgiving

some random things I'm thankful for:
Jesus
the gospel
getting off work early
God's word
music
my fam
cold weather
the beks (+ my whole 2nd fam)
yummy food
cousins
als
canadians
coffee
good books
sharpies
seasons
emma (job #1)
michaela, alyssa, chloe, olivia (job #2)
the lindseys driving down to hang with us
dell and corning
and last but not least...for God's sovereignty...
and for new chemo treatments being effective.

seriously, we have so much to thank God for. sometimes i think we forget how incredibly blessed we are. because we don't live in places like cuba or the streets of orlando; we look at all the things we can't or don't have. Rather than the wealth of blessings God has poured out on us. The fact that we can walk into a store like Publix and even have choices is mind-blowing to our brothers and sisters in some countries. i should live in a constant state of gratefulness--surely God's work on the cross is more than enough reason! have a good {american} thanksgiving. if you cooked for it, get first dibbs on the best seat for the football game. if only to sanctify the guys. haha.
say cheers to beks for a good post on her lonely blog.
// i stole mum's template. just for now. //

11.16.2006

isaiah 40

"Lift your eyes to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength not one of them is missing." (v.26)
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; the will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint." (v.28-31)

God is good.

11.06.2006


"Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous...For the righteous will never be moved, he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries..."
psalm 112:4,6-8

i want my heart to be steady in the light of His gospel. Even when crazy things happen, when joy and sorrow are strangely mixed. when loved one's cancer counts are up and the chemo becomes ineffective. when one of your dearest, closest friends becomes engaged (big cheesy smile!!!) my desire is to stand firm in the strength of the Lord, to be able to celebrate whole-heartedly with one's great joy after comforting one's great sorrow-in the same day.
the peace that surpasses understanding comes only after i surrender completely and trust in the One who rules the universe. great joy comes in the knowledge that i can do none of it on my own, that His grace is sufficient, and from the overwhelming truth of the gospel.