to 10 year old me
dear little one, i know you feel confused right now. you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, sad, icky, & guilty. i wish i could tell you to share what happened with someone. but i don't know if any adults in your life have the toolkit to handle this. i know you'll carry this day embedded in your body for decades. i can't fix that. i can't stop it from happening in the first place. oh, how i wish i could! so the most important thing i want to tell you is this: what happened was not your fault. look at me baby girl-- you are not dirty, you are not evil, this was not a sin you committed. you didn't want this. but you didn't know how to get out of it without hurting him. it's not your fault that you didn't understand the magnitude of what was happening. this was a yucky moment where you were sinned against. (maybe. i don't know how to classify it really) im sorry the church would spend the next decade of your life pounding into your head that you must ha