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Showing posts from February, 2015

{ because my hands are tired }

The Lone Bellow - "Watch Over Us" Unplugged from Michael Leiato on Vimeo . ^^this band for me embodies things that i doubt they have any idea of: that beauty can be born from struggle. the truth that hard fighting doesn't leave a pretty face behind it, that some sorrows scar & forever alter our hearts. something powerful happens when they sing. it's as if the songs are crafted no longer with words & notes but instead with honesty, blood, sweat, pain. a weakness refusing to shatter; hope refusing to surrender. it bleeds into the music and creates a great exchange: what overflows onto the listeners is a beautiful courage, a fierce grace, a real and messy hope. it breathes the gospel without one bible verse ever being stated. maybe it's just what deep souls sound like when they allow themselves to spill over with the rawness of everything they have. maybe it's so rare because few people engage their sufferings and let it deepen them. or maybe so man

things I've always known but rarely allow myself to dwell on

 what I really want is just to sail around the world & live at sea. to be a drifter, to have stories, to be free & strange & content. I want to delve a little deeper into the cultures of the world with each stop. I want to become familiar with/able to converse in many languages. not from textbooks, from necessity. from meeting like-hearted people, from learning to read the soul reflected in their eyes and thus connect meanings to language. I want to know my capabilities thoroughly--when to jerry-rig, when to let a pro fix it. I long for weeks on end alone with myself and God. until my desperation is so fierce I finally let go of all my pride & fragility & fears. to regain the ease of speaking with Him, to feel again that His love & approval--securely mine already--are the rock of my joy. I want to be sure of myself again, & the sea always gives me that. I want to be a student of nature, reading the sky & sea as if my life depended on it. keeping me cente

the thing about art

is that it reminds there is still beauty & joy & light amidst all our broken messiness. it gives a voice to those of us who stifle our emotions. it's an expression for we who cannot find words powerful enough for the colors our hearts speak when they feel.  i still have days where i miss the freedom and release of dancing. i miss the tension of my soul untangling with the movements of my body. we are such interconnected beings. because however problematic the movie Dead Poets Society may be, there are truths and gems in the words of John Keating [especially taken out of context which he can't mind since he is forever doing that to his poets ;) ]  anyway in the words of Robin William's script:  "It's a battle, it's a war; and the casualties may very well be your hearts and souls... We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.