in.the.curve or, alive & well when one should be burnt & scarred

I have theme songs. if 2012 had a theme song, I'd have to pick two by the Avetts: in the curve & tear down the house.

I could have shipwrecked my life this year, & at times I truly thought I had. or circumstances had for me. but God is faithful. "He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
Blessed is the man who makes
the Lord his trust." {ps 40.1-4a}

{inthecurve} how I love this song. never thought I'd "get it" like I do now. in a way that if I use words to explain, it will do no good. this was my year. so perfectly describes the months of feb-may. it will not be the theme of this year. I'm grateful to have also "walked from ashes with just a fee scratches..."

"I've never taken this curve
Drivin' this fast before
A glowing stop sign
But both lanes are mine
No seat belts attached to my door

Well my speed meter don't work
So I'm gonna to guess ninety-five
Well maybe I'll fix it
And maybe I won't
It depends on my being alive

Well my bottle of bourbon is gone
It flew away all by itself
So if ever you find it
My photo will go behind it
In memory of me on your shelf

Well it's been raining all day
And it's been raining all night
A slip 'n slide highway
And I'm moving sideways
I'm loose but my steering wheels tight

Well my '63 Ford is a bull
She's four thousand pounds at least
But metal surrenders
When oak trees meet fenders
And engines go through the front seat

Well I lost control in the curve
And a gas line broke in the wreck
I walked from the ashes
With just a few scratches
My crucifix warm on my neck

Well my good Lord was with me tonight
Just ridin' beside me tonight
And now we're just talking
We're hitch hiking walkin'
We'll see you in Concord tonight"

tbc when I have words.


emails that give strength

Day 35 of 40 Days with Jesus by Sarah Young:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! I am a God of surprises-- infinitely more creative than you can imagine. The universe displays some of My creativity, but there is more-- much more. I am making a new heaven and a new earth. Moreover, I am preparing My people-- all around the world-- to live there with Me in endless ecstasy. Let this eternal perspective strengthen and encourage you.

As you journey along your life-path with Me, refuse to let the past define you or your expectations of what lies ahead. You may feel as if the road you are on is tiresome or even a dead end. That is because you're projecting the past into the future. The road block you are straining to see up ahead is really just an illusion. The future is in My hands, and I can do surprising things with it!

Your gravest danger is giving up: ceasing to believe I can still do wondrous new things in you and your world. Your assignment is to keep moving forward in trusting dependence on Me. Stop focusing on obstacles you might encounter and concentrate on staying in touch with Me. As you continue taking steps of trust, expect the path before you to open up in refreshing newness. I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

'Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.' Rev. 21:1"

Isaiah 43:18-19
Ephesians 3:20
Psalm 25:4

amen. perfect timing God. when this was first sent to me a few weeks ago i was having problems with email...had i read it then I don't think it would have impacted me as much as it did today. He knows the struggles of our little hearts even when we are unaware of them. amazing!


.merry christmas.

the sister's artwork. love having artists in the fam!

the real us.

the camera kids

bre & i went on a not so caroling walk
hooray for the Christmas truth that Jesus Christ was born, died to cleanse us, and arose to keep us. the Christmas story is a story of mercy, extravagant love, and real peace. may we live in it all year long, and never forget the wonder & beauty of our Savior!


night rain

"Sin is Satan’s business because he hates the light and beauty and purity and glory of God. Nothing pleases him more than when creatures distrust and disobey their Maker." piper}

"Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery." (Heb 2:14–15)

lifeisbeautiful whether I see it as such or no. oh if I could grasp the reality of the words above, what peace to my soul! what a well of joy would erupt in my heart...beauty lies in the fact that it IS true. it doesn't change with my capacity to see feel or even believe it. the benefit I receive may be altered by how I relate to truth; but the firm solid truth itself does. not. change. sweet comfort!

truth makes life beautiful. so does rain falling on my roof, the glow of Christmas lights & the patience of family & friends who love you unconditionally. even when you're a hellacious mess.
don't deserve such grace!



"In the mid-16th century Francis Xavier (1506–1552), a Catholic missionary, wrote to Father Perez of Malacca (today part of Indonesia) about the perils of his mission to China. He said,

'The danger of all dangers would be to lose trust and confidence in the mercy of God. . . To distrust him would be a far more terrible thing than any physical evil which all the enemies of God put together could inflict on us, for without God’s permission neither the devils nor their human ministers could hinder us in the slightest degree.'

The greatest danger a missionary faces is to distrust the mercy of God. If that danger is avoided, then all other dangers lose their sting.

God makes every dagger a scepter in our hand. As J.W. Alexander says, “Each instant of present labor is to be graciously repaid with a million ages of glory.”

Christ escaped the danger of distrust. Therefore God has highly exalted him!"

help my unbelief. it grows strong the more My thought patterns conform to even positive cultural ways...for the less I think biblically the less I trust. the more I have to understand, the less I humbly take in faith. renew my mind.



God provides.

He truly does.

He's always given me adequate food clothing shelter.
a family that has my back, with 3 pretty tight faithful siblings who never judge.
solid "I know you're not alright it's bro time" besties, who love me in my mess.
a church that taught me to get into the Word & showed me my need for Christ.
an iPhone for free that I wasn't even asking for.

but most importantly.
God has given me the greatest gift.
"let not your hearts be troubled..." John 14.1

I know I've posted about this a ridiculous amount of times, but I forget. so often!
I forget what a secure resting place my heart has. I forget what a powerful constant love I have to be my shield. I forget He is the greatest treasure. I forget how _rich_ I am, how satisfying it is when I'm drinking in the King's presence. I forget that His creating me, loving me, rescuing me; (all) endows this ragged orphan with value. I forget Ge doesn't just love me bc He should or has too or wants something back or is obligated too...no He /loves/. [me?!] He actually likes me. he is making me into something beautiful. he wants me to be His---the agonizing death to make a relationship possible where I had destroyed all hope |proves| it.

ohlittledoubting soul.



maybe I'm a mustang...

"You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere bright and new..."

I hear ya petty. that's exactly where I belong...