silent

"Mum, do you remember the last time I was bored? I was thinking, it feels like I grew out of boredom."

Mum: "(laughter) "You don't have TIME to be bored!!"

A lack of {free} time equals a lack of wordage. [I can't say I lack time as I have the same 24 hour allotment as the rest of the world. But I'm not as planned as I could be and blogging falls more under the free category than the priority category}

There isn't much in me to write either. Scratch that. There is plenty that God is doing and revealing. I think I am lacking the inclination and time more than the thoughts.

{It is not because of facebook. I dearly love my friends, but I dislike facebook.}

This quiet phase will pass.

lesser known words from clive staples

“I am rather sick of the modern assumption that, for all events, ‘WE’, the people, are never responsible: it is always our rulers, or ancestors, or parents, or education, or anybody but precious ‘US”. WE are apparently perfect and blameless. Don’t you believe it.”

“As the only two good lines in one of our bad hymns says ‘Fear Him ye saints and you will have nothing else to fear’…Not all the things you fear can happen to you; the one (if any) that does will perhaps turn out very differently from what you think.”

“People in real life are often so preposterous that one would not dare to put them in a novel.”

“What a state we have got into when we can’t say “I’ll be happy when God calls me” without being afraid one will be thought ‘morbid.' After all, Paul said just the same. If we really believe what we say we believe—if we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a ‘wandering to find home’, why should we not look forward to the arrival?…”

“There, by the way, is a sentence ending with a preposition. The silly ‘rule’ against it was invented by Dryden. I think he disliked it only because you can’t do it in either French or Latin which he thought more ‘polite’ languages than English.”
{i stand humbled and corrected. ;) }

"Humans are seldom either totally sincere or totally hypocritical. Their moods change, their motives are mixed, and they are often themselves quite mistaken as to what their motives are."

“I have a notion that, apart from actual pain, men and women are quite diversely affected by illness. To a woman one of the great evils about it is that she can’t do things. To a man {or anyway a man like me} the great consolation is the reflection ‘Well, anyway, no one can now demand that I should do anything.’ ”

this blog has been much neglected as of late.

it is probably a good thing, because i am in one of my thinking-way-to-hard-sorting-things-out seasons. God speaks in mysterious ways. it would only be a tangled mess on paper.

i am reading alot. listening alot. being silent alot. finding more questions than i can ever hope to answer and learning that sometimes they don't need answering. re-learning how to quiet my heart and be still before God.

it's a good place.

times. and seasons.

God has been calling these verses from Ecclesiastes 3 to mind the past few weeks.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace."

It's been very encouraging to hear God remind me that He is a God of all times and seasons. Every detail within my current season, every shifting time, every nuance is perfectly planned. I must choose to follow Him and walk in His will, but I am continually held up by His soveriegnty. When I read this scripture, I hear God say "I am there in the time you mourn, I am there in the time you dance, I am there...". I don't feel His nearness. I want to, but I don't have to. If He says He is, that is comfort enough.

He is so good.

a 7-yr-old's guide to comforting your friends

this was waiting for me when i came to work on friday. it brought tears to my eyes.
"I'm very sorry about the lost of your grandpa. my hamster pudge died say a week ago. I still haven't got over it but you know that God is with you even if your grandpa died and he must've had a good long life. From, Chloe"
so precious.

musings

If tolling bell I ask the cause.

“A soul has gone to God”,

Is answered in a lonesome tone;

Is heaven then so sad?
That bells should joyful ring to tell

A soul had gone to heaven,

Would seem to me the proper way

Good news should be given.
~Emily Dickinson

I'm thinking I agree with this.

I have some half-thoughts swirling about my head so I figured I would put them into words.

When one is awash in Christ’s all-atoning blood; death becomes a good thing. Why? How can something so hideous be called "good"? "O death, where is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is in the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (1cor 15)

What is death for the believer? It is seeing your Savior face to face. It's not an end--it's a beginning. It's not an accident—it was carefully planned by One who planned every detail of the life before and after. It is reunion with friends who left before. It is the realization of hope and freedom. It is finding that promises you believed in by faith are tangible and the deepest reality. It is falling on your face before He who snatched you from flames...Death for the beloved of God is the doorway into the greatest adventure, the one for which your life on earth was preparation.
Of course, not everything continues. There are things that end. Sin is not allowed to follow you. Temptations, spiritual warfare, pain, sorrow, brokenness, tears, hatred, agony, bitterness, struggle, fear, doubt, disappointment, strife, anger, chains, sickness, conflict… you must bid them and their friends goodbye.

Yet, even for lovers of God, there is some bitterness in death for those left behind. Do we mourn that our friend is free from misery and woe? Are we sorry he is tasting victory? Surely not! We rejoice for him, we praise God for His undeserved mercy. We are amazed at the gospel. But we are left in the battle. We will miss our comrade. We are not so selfish to wish him back, but we may wish he had tarried a moment longer. Therein lies the bitterness. We rejoice, but we also mourn. There is laughter in our tears, joy in our sorrow, peace in our heartbreak. We are delighted for him, we are jealous of his release. We are comforted that someday it will be our turn. We will see our dear friend again. Even more wonderous, we will see our King, the One who makes all of the hope and joy possible.

(so i guess I had alot of thoughts...i think i'm influenced by clive staples lewis in this area. i could be wrong in some ways, but i'm confident that heaven will blow pre-conceived notions out of the water and that it will be all about our Lord and His awesome glory. i'm excited.)