"For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known..."
1 corinthians 13.9-12

i cannot say that i understand why people suffer. oh, i know all the 'right things' you're supposed to say, i know we live in a fallen world, i know about living through consequences of other's sin... but when suffering is staring me in the face, i know of no words to comfort. and the only thing i have to say is this: i know that we are in the hands of God. the hands that hung the very stars in the heavens. the hands that paint the sky every morning. the hands that made life in the first place. i know this One is good, faithfulness everlasting.

that is enough. for me.


God is good.
Faithful. Gracious. Merciful. Holy. Glorious. Almighty....

"a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. i would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour. No good thing does he withold frpm those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!"


i miss these kids. jo the man, little snugly, & 'precious' bre. they should be home by 8pm. joyousness!
ouch. i'm realizing those photos aren't very kind. i hardly had any to choose from. i'm thinking i didn't even take these ones. (my bros are making funny faces to entertain the californian's toddlers.)
no photos of mum. at least none by herself. what is it with my fam and avoiding pictures?

"Our hope in Christ for the future is the mainspring & the mainstay of our joy here. It will animate our hearts to think often of heaven, for all that we can desire is promised there. Here we are weary &toil worn, but yonder is the land of rest where the sweat of labour shall no more bedew the workers brow, & fatigue shall be forever banished...Here we are always in the field of battle; we are so tempted within, that we have little or no peace; but in heaven we shall enjoy the victory, where the banner shall be waved aloft in triumph, &the sword shall be sheathed, and we shall hear our Captain say, "Well done, good & faithful servant." We have sufferedbereavement...but we are going to the land of the immortal where graves are unknown things. Here sin is a constant grief to us, but there we shall be perfectly holy...Oh! is it not joy, that you are not to be in banishment for ever, that you are not to dwell eternally in this wilderness, but shall soon inhereit Canaan? Nevertheless let it be never said of us, that we are dreaming about the future & forgetting the present, let the future sanctify the present to hightest uses. Through the Spirit of God the hope of heaven is the most potent force for the product of virtue; it is a fountain of joyous effort, it is the cornerstone of cheerful holiness."
~ Spurgeon


before the throne. of grace..

((photo credit brianwells//wyoming06))

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of Glory and of Grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

a random song spun off the computer. wasn't even in a playlist. it became a means of grace. causing what had been a struggle for joy to become no longer a fight, but a definitive choice. the overflow of a grateful heart--grateful for mercy, grateful for the cross, and grateful for the amazing grace God pours out daily. that grace that gives strength to make it through the longest days, the kind of strength that no starbucks can ever bring.
starbucks is a good metaphor...coffee acts on our minds like grace acts on our hearts. it awakens and energizes.

so. go read romans 8, get an iced caramel macchiato with a double shot and then worship God all the way home. it's the best way to recover after physio-therapy that i know of. *



"this is true..."

{what i found on my bed. &dark chocolate on the island. sweet of them, hey?}

i'm home. finally. took longer than planned. several hours passed between airport arrival and home arrival...but i'm here.
no matter how much wanderlust one may have, home is still oh-so-nice. that is, when your fam is in it. without them it's just a place to crash. it doesn't feel so very nice after all...that's how it was a few minutes ago. sad to say, i wasn't having a very God-glorifying thought pattern. there i was with multiple things to be grateful about/for (the greatest that should be ever present in my mind&heart: the gospel). i wasn't thinking about even one of them! ouch.
God wasn't content to let me wallow in my sin unchecked. He broke in. Holy God shoved aside the sinfullness of my mind. This perfectly sinless, righteous God was merciful enough to speak to an unholy being. One who is sinful-beyond-all-reason...but is covered in the righteousness of His Son. what a happy thought indeed...what grace there is in a gentle rebuke where He opens blinded eyes to see things in the light of His Holiness...

dams. aka :betty:

((no mom, i won't forget dad in my sleep-deprived state. i'll be at the airport at 10:40 to pick the bomb.com up. and i wont be "4yrs too late". haha. only since it's night time i'll have to wear my glasses-made ghetto by kay. we shall see how that works...))


oh canada

the rumours are true. i'm leaving the country. haha. well, at least for a week. now when i appear to have fallen of the face of the earth, you'll know that i'm really just camping in the wilds of lake whatever. (or my plane crashed over texas. haha. *joke*)
i leave tommorrow in a delta plane on a northwest flight. confusing, eh? **credit goes here to dad who called the airline for me. i couldn't get through. actually, i didn't know what i was doing and was trying to get out of talking on the phone**

my fam is going to be scattered. i leave tommorrow. dad leaves monday for a business trip in denver. mom & the kids leave mid-week for new york. & virginia to hang with the lindseys. i'm kinda bummed about not seeing 'the boys', but i can't be everywhere at once. cousins are easier to visit than canadians.
there's my life for the next week. when i come home it'll be interesting. all night flying, get home, crash in an empty house; pick dad up from the airport later that night (no, we didn't plan that). work on tuesday. the good thing about coming home to an empty house is that the fam isn't all dissapointed when i fall asleep before telling them anything.
have fun. enjoy school. (muahaha)