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Showing posts from May, 2012
I was kinda skimming along ann voskamp's latest and i didn't really get into it but then these words in bold stopped me in my tracks. SO VERY TRUE!! so where i am. heart attacks adn renderings and shards of self-will and desires splintering, all the while knowing there is good in the shattering and God is making beautiful things out of dust but sometimes not even caring just wanting easiness. today is a strange day. today is the kind when i am very aware that there are different kinds of happy.  maybe satan is tempting me to believe the kind i have now isn't the best. but i'm not falling into that lie! today is going to be a day i believe life is beautiful-always beautiful, no matter the season. some just take more looking for that beauty than others. but if God is always good, there is always something to be grateful in. something to give ammo to the fight for joy. something to make hearts stop and breathe and smile with eyes closed for a minute. anyway enough stu
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"To make a fighter you gotta strip them down to bare wood: you can't just tell 'em to forget everything you know if you gotta make 'em forget even their bones... make 'em so tired they only listen to you, only hear your voice, only do what you say and nothing else... show 'em how to keep their balance and take it away from the other guy... how to generate momentum off their right toe and how to flex your knees when you fire a jab... how to fight backin' up so that the other guy doesn't want to come after you. Then you gotta show 'em all over again. Over and over and over... till they think they're born that way." "If there's magic in boxing, it's the magic of fighting battles beyond endurance, beyond cracked ribs, ruptured kidneys and detached retinas. It's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you ." won't have time to write just why these resonate so strongly with me for awhile..
"Don't Give Up" by Jon Bloom “Here is a call for the endurance of the saints” ( Revelation 14:12 ). We all long for rest and refreshment. That’s a God-given longing that he promises to fulfill: “I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish” ( Jeremiah 31:25 ). And in a very real way Jesus gives rest to “all who labor and are heavy laden” and come to him ( Matthew 11:28 ). But in this age, it is not the complete rest. In this age, Jesus grants us the gospel rest of ceasing the impossible labor of self-atonement for our sins ( 2 Corinthians 5:21 ). But in embracing the gospel we find ourselves also drafted into a war — a war to keep  believing  the gospel and a war to  spread  it to others. In this age we “strive to enter that [complete] rest” of the age to come ( Hebrews 4:11 ). And wars are exhausting — especially long ones. That’s why you are often tired. Most soldiers who experience the fierceness of combat want to get out of
" What do you do when the guilt doesn't cease the morning;  after a fall, asking "Lord would you send relief, relief, relief.  In Christ you will send relief Constantly feeling down. What's this really about?  I'm readmitting the sins I feel most guilty about.  I'm weak.  Fearing you'll leave my bones,  thinking now "I want holiness, but I don't have the power to live it out!  That's why i gotta preach, cause the gospel has got to hit me -  Jesus has died for my sin; there's no power without relief.  Believe it!  Oh, I'm letting go of my yesterday,  grab a hold - free in your grace I live.  There's no more guilt  Hello new mercies/ Hello every morning and every day I live, is another day I know that I've been forgiven... KB hello. theme song. "you are a child of God, hear me in this. God is not angry with you, he loves you. God is not sick of you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. God will not

sometimes i've too much swirling in me to sleep, n i start writing; but its always when i'm already drunk from exhaustion...this is the result

there is an awful lot of beauty in life. there is grace in ick days. even on one of those days where you suddenly realize with startling clarity that you still want things you thought you didn't want anymore. mhm. yeah. cue mental: wait. what?! blank stark clarity. iiiiiick. cue madness...sometimes my mind and my heart are two separate entities. they go at it like its the superbowl. your mind gets angry at your heart and all tangled up in trying to logicallize* heart things and convince you how stupid those emotions are, how pathetic to want what you can't have; especially if you really believe psalm 84:11. the heart is trying to say something about "whoa hold on a minute babe, i didn't say this was reality, i just said..." but oh no, the mind is spastic in blind fear of what it can't understand. its to proud trying to control to even know the heart has words. and goes off on fake God-centeredness. trying to reason that believing in a good sovereign God who