ephesians 2.1-10. paraphrased into first person.
because it slams into me so much harder. when i put myself into this passage. i feel the wieght of my sin, all paul's descriptions of me before Christ resonate. i was a willing slave, i didn't even want to be rescued. i deserved wrath. but Christ, Christ took all the wrath i earned, Christ paid my debts, Christ reconciled this sinful rebellious child to God the Holy Father. and now i know grace. mercy. kindness overwhelming. for no other reason than that the Lord chose to be merciful. loving. a love beyond my comprehension!
i know on judgment day. when i stand before the throne of my God. i will have the truest sense of my guilt. i will know to the fullest extent possible how evil my heart was, how just it would be for me to be damned. how undeserving i am to be in His presence. and at the same moment, unbelievably! i will know grace! i will grasp more fully how amazing, how unspeakably sweet is mercy, love, redemption. how incredible is Christ's sacrifice. not only will i be in His presence. i will see His face. i can't bear the thought. and yet i long for that day. i can't wait to be humbled in a way i have never been on earth, too finally have a better idea of the complete perfect worthiness of God. and fall on my face. "such things are too wonderful for me."