wild melody

these are just a few of my most faves peeps. they've faithfully had my back. and i am missing a few faces, but i don't have may pics on my lappy. praying for them today. cause i hate homework. but i love them. life is made beautiful partly by the people we love, no? eiagianng. cheeeeeese.

(i loathe papers.) {(i am so not a fan of writing to specifications...staying [inside boxes] is SO NOT my thing. boundaries? i get the necessity. framework? yes please and thank you. structure? sure, i'll take the help...but super specific page by page instructions? eei;aognauognubuv!! worse than a free hand topic with no direction! at least for this person)} (((also my perfectionism is intense with writing legit papers...its an evil dragon that must be slain. like right now. i have to follow ever single grammar rule. comma or no comma? is that a run on or does it break up the monotony of short statements? uuugh. its like slavery--every sentence has to be constructed the best possible way. every word has to be purposeful and work towards conveying whatever idea it's meant to efficiently, interestingly, accurately. oh. dear. HELP. as in if somebody who read this blog read a paper i wrote, they wouldn't believe i wrote it lol. that's why i take great delight in writin...

"mum, i feel like i'm breaking inside...i'm pathetic. how can my heart hurt so much for somebody else? not over them, for . i can't save them and oh i want too! i feel like i'm breaking inside , i'm aching for lost innocence & scars being made. there are some things once lost we can't ever get back. there are doors opened that don't ever fully re-close. i despise myself b.c they don't think its a big deal. i wish i could show them what i see! i wish they could see how beautiful & precious the gift they're throwing away . it's like God's given the loveliest clothes, & they're stripping them off for rags...these rags won't satisfy! i KNOW temporal pleasure seems so worth it. seems better than the joy of walking close to Jesus-- that often takes sacrifice to keep. but when life tailspins, this isn't gonna be there. joy will. it can save from the darkest pit but not if its traded in for something so cheap. i kee...

i don't have time or words today so. found this the other day...heck yes! lets beat tennessee boys, make me proud please? thank you Jesus for brothers, friends like brothers, besties, football, & YOU. mostly i need so much more of You. amin. (ameen? phonetic spelling...)

my wrist thinks it's 65 tonight. obviously not a fan of holding pens, or it wouldn't be complaining so much. ((sometimes i'm afraid all the writing i've done since i was a kid in those 25 journals-no i didn't keep all of them-is gonna cause arthritis at age 30 haha)) so i'ma be typing my heart out. cause man, the hawk is creating chaos flying around in this chest of mine! keeps bumping into bones n tendons, won't let me sleep. it needs to breathe.. ...idk i just need release, in a good way. i'm not sure where this is going. *silence* sigh. never have words when my heart is most fully alive...the deeper i'm feeling-being; the quieter-stiller i get. God did something tonight. ugh. really? that's what we're going to say? ... i feel it, but i don't have words for it. something happened in my heart that i don't understand. i don't even know what the "something" is. i just know His hand was there. so i'll write ...

* 1 john 3.13-24 just a lil taste: "Do not be *surprised*, brothers that the world -hates you-. We know that we *have passed* OUT of (death) }into} LiFE, because we love the brothers...By this we know love, that [Christ] laid down his life for us !!!... By this we shall KNOW that we are *of the TRUTH* & REASSURE our heart before Him; for whenever (our heart) condemns us, God is GREATER than our (heart), and He *knows* EVERYTHiNG...we have CONFiDENCE before God...whoever KEEPS His commandments ABiDES in God, & God is in him..."  {make you want to sing anyone?! * country music eric church's voice. miranda lambert's fierceness. jason aldean's lyrics. mmhm, keepin me tied to my room so i keep working *saturdays off  LOVE fam breakfast- chores- homeness w the people dearest to my heart *free coffee  starbucks kid: "i think i got this one..." me: um, wait what?!  "no its fine! i even have a giftcard!" "oh well, too bad" an...

not the best quality but love this song. " every victory, You sing it over me now Your peace is a melody, You sing it over me..." truth. "Behold, it was for my welfare      that I had (great bitterness); but in love  You have *delivered* my life      from the pit of destruction, for You have cast _all_ my sins     _ behind_ Your back." isaiah 38.17