wild melody

"O  Lord , in your strength the king rejoices ,      and in your salvation how greatly he exults !... 2  6  For you make him most blessed forever;      you make him glad with the joy of your presence . 7  For the king trusts in the  Lord ,      and through the steadfast love of the Most High he shall not be moved ." (psalm 21.1, 6-7) oh Lord, forgive me for all the running i have been doing. for all the business, for putting good things in front of you. for choosing sin--worry, doubt, fear, control, wanting what You have said is not best for me--over time with You. i'm running back Father. o thank You for open arms! thank you for giving up Your only and beloved Son to give me freedom & the amazingness of forgiveness. break me over my sin. give me a heart that repents--for that is a heart that knows the sweetness of Your presence. that is a heart with a fountain of joy no c...

"Far off hymns and funeral marches sound the same again My ears are worn and weary strangers in a strange land And I need a new song I need a new song And all I am is breath and vapour and shadows And all I have is what I need, this I know That I need a new song Yeah I need a new song Waiting in the night for you Lord Waiting in the sky for you, you ohh Prayers and aching in my body, in my lungs Swear the bones around my heart are coming undone As I, I need a new song I need a new song So I’m waiting in the night for you Lord Waiting in the sky for you, you Waiting in the night for you, you I’m waiting in the sky for you Words are failing My melodies falter My voice is breaking My heart is burning ‘Cause blessing and honour Glory and power Praise and worship They belong to you I need a new song..." *audrey assad-- new song. at the end of an insane (ok so 50 hrs isn't that insane but it is to me) work week, at the end of my strength and desperate for God to restore the...

1) i am not nearly as "made-new" as i thought. i need a lot more breaking. probably done more necessary confessing & repenting the past month than i have in my whole life to date. i'm learning i can take the "roof off" all i want, but just being open before God isn't always enough. i also need to take "walls down" and be open to others. 2) i have amazing friends, who reflect well their greater, more amazing God's grace. cases in point: a few nights ago a kind friend text me this as a way of forgiving me: "Isn't GRACE just the most beautiful experience ever!? The grace in conviction, the grace in humility , the grace in forgiveness! It's astounding!!" this morning another friend emailed me: " I want you to see your imperfections, your weaknesses and your failures NOT has chains of condemnation, but as opportunities for God to come, save, and raise up in His strength and love! God's plan for using you, is so muc...

this is from a sermon Spurgeon preached from Matthew 15.27 about the Samaritan women. he's preaching this to those to seek salvation but do not feel they receive it immediately. BUT. the women was seeking Jesus to heal her possessed daughter...so i take comfort in this to apply it to my prayers for the saving of those i am sometimes tempted to despair over. i know not what His answer may be, but i will keep coming. til the day i die, if need be. -oh if he will give me perseverance!- i shall fight to view it as a delayed, not unanswered, prayer. "Genuine seekers who as yet have not obtained the blessing, may take comfort from the story before us. The Saviour did not at once give the blessing, even though this woman had faith. Do not be startled; it is the truth. She had real and genuine faith in Christ when she came to Jesus, or else she would never have put up with the rebuffs of the disciples. Yet, believer as she was, she did not at first obtain the blessing which she sought...

mm. words. the power to release, or to encage. tonight we'll go with the latter. all the thoughts and feelings within this heart are going to stay there. locked deep in the little tattered box. where the inexpressible flutters like a bird without wings. not suppressed or restrained--thank God he finally got that foolishness out of me! but in a place where He can bring them out and we can deal with em, but not now. the need to release wordage of some sort will burn if i don't write something. burning always has a flame, flame creates light, and i do not sleep well with any sort of light... so. i'll write from my head & share truth: this major encouraged/challenged me last month. re-read it today. because i have grown weary of asking...i do limit God! i do view the kind of heart i want so much as impossible for somebody of my personality--as if My Creator were limited. He created me with flaws that His grace might abound. that His power might be shown...anyway....