wild melody

Hey. This is a little weird, but here's a letter from me. Or you... the 25-year-old self. I know at 19 you're trying really hard to put on a brave face. Trying to live up to expectations. But would you admit cancer sucks? You don't have to add "God is good & faithful" as a tagline anytime what you're actually walking through starts to come through in your words. cut all the "happy and you know it" crap. YES God is good & faithful; but ya gotta be a little more honest. It's k that you're bleeding & angry some days. There isn't a single good reason for all the suffering of cancer on this earth. its only going to get worse; so you need to get it straight right now: it's ok to not know. And people who make you feel like admissions of doubt or fear or hurt are questioning God? The ones who stifle you? Well they won't be in your life in 4 years. You'll benefit from gut-level honesty now vs. waiting til your mid 20s. Rea...

two theme songs today. one is the way i feel i've been acting towards God. and the other is how i feel He actually is towards me. horrendous theology implications aside... first one: ooohh so me!! i live functionally as if God is my part-time authority. i'm a part-time lover, running to Him when i'm in need and wandering away when i see something else i want. i've never been a full time man. sooo often i think "i've been faithful and God hasn't come through" and i stop. quit. give up. um. word to the girl, you've never STUCK IT OUT! the definition of faithful means *not* giving up when it gets rough. when it looks pointless. i'm willing to admit i'm spiritual Hosea's wife; that's not a new realization. but that my character itself is unfaithful? that something deep in me is a giver-upper? mmm. not me! i'm supposed to be the loyal one, the faithful one. i'm that girl who still thinks about people who walked out of my life i...

“When we compare ourselves to other people; what we are doing is not simply lying to ourselves, we are telling God that He got us wrong. Did you know that before you were even knit inside your mother, God knew you. That means that He knew that you were you before the world did. Since when did we decide to listen to the world instead of God? The world wants to end you before you even exist. The world wants you to think you were an accident. The world wants you to think that beauty comes from letting your “cover girl” out. The world wants you to find value in the arms of another. The world wants you to be your own god knowing full well that it will rip you apart. The world wants you dead, it has been trying to do that ever since your birth. God wants you. It is plain and simple, but it is truth. Find your worth in the one who knew you before any of us, the one who desired you before you were even someone to be desired. Stop listening to a liar and start listening to God. Our ...

this woman. how she has carried me. how richly she paints the Gospel for me! I don't know how to explain the comradeship God has built between us. the way He built passions into our hearts that we had no idea were similar until later. ah. words fail.  [^^^]