wild melody

TRUST in the LORD with ALL your HEART, and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones... My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he LOVES, as a father the son in whom he delights. O Father, do this work in me! continue to reveal when i am placing my hope in myself, in circumstances, in others. lead me to repentance, and sing over me louder than the devil's lies of condemnation. thank you that when i come to you, i am forgiven. freely, immediatly, forever! justified by grace. sanctified by grace. please, give me a heart that loves you and rests in your Soveriegn goodness. i need you. i cannot help myself, i cannot make myself rest. O God, thank you! i believe You are leading me to a sweet place of...

i'm seeing a bit of my Father's purpose. its heart-wrenchingly good. He's revealing deep-rooted sin. painfully relieving. like poison being drawn out, it's a deep healing that hurts awfully but will be the end of the wound. i absolutely cannot continue in the lies i believe. but i absolutely cannot free myself. He must! oh! if i come to be fully surrendered, no price is too great! if i come to truly love God, how worth it! if He will take mental assent, intellectual belief & impart it to my halting, self-reliant, security-seeking heart! I need HiM to break strongholds of fear & doubt in my mind. the question of His goodness, can i really trust Him? is a battle i've won in my head. but now it gets to the core of my being. & my heart is unsure of Him whom i have believed. i don't doubt He has saved me! i have far too many proofs. i've seen Jesus, i've believed His love & loved Him (but poorly). if sure of salvation (my greatest need...

In you, O LORD, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me! Incline your ear to me; rescue me speedily! Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me! For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name's sake you lead me and guide me; you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O LORD, faithful God. I hate those who pay regard to worthless idols, but I trust in the LORD. I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place. Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also. For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquit...

writing is hard these days. ((honestly, everything is hard these days. not because of trial or tragedy but just mentally. life is work. "these days" being the past week & a half)) i write to be honest. if there is one thing this space is, it's the corner of my world where i don't restrain myself. i let my heart & mind breathe & exhale. i try to preach back to it some truth when it is going it's own wrong way. i hope God makes His work known & seen! yet i know there is much of sin & ugliness here. i don't say all the right things. even though i know them and fight to believe them, it doesn't seem honest to say what i am failing to live. i admit idolatry & doubting faithlessness. oh, but does that not prove how very very faithful He is? that He still loves-saves-keeps this child...i am still under construction. still putting off my nasty old self, and learning how to put on my new loving one. i'm becoming a better reflection o...