h o p e

struggling with a heavy heart today, knowing that the battle is usually won with song but unable to get there. 

unable = pretty much sums me up today, actually. 

opening my bible with little faith, because usually I need to worship myself out of my funks before I read. but desperate I open my heart and whisper "oh God where is your hope in this book?"

this never happens, so I'm not offering this as a healthy method of studying the word... but I flip through and haphazardly stop at Zechariah 10, bc "restoration" caught my eye. 

what. I've read this book cover to cover many times, and it's new. I can't remember the last time the Word felt fresh or new to me. here, amidst chapters of bizarre visions & judgment & wrath on Isreal's enemies; is a psalm of restoration. 

“My anger is hot against the shepherds,

and I will punish the leaders;

for the Lord of hosts cares for his flock, the house of Judah,

and will make them like his majestic steed in battle. 

From him shall come the cornerstone,

from him the tent peg,

from him the battle bow,

from him every ruler—all of them together. 

They shall be like mighty men in battle,

trampling the foe in the mud of the streets;

they shall fight because the Lord is with them,

and they shall put to shame the riders on horses. 

“I will strengthen the house of Judah,

and I will save the house of Joseph.

I will bring them back because I have compassion on them,

and they shall be as though I had not rejected them,

for I am the Lord their God and I will answer them. 

Then Ephraim shall become like a mighty warrior,

and their hearts shall be glad as with wine.

Their children shall see it and be glad;

their hearts shall rejoice in the Lord. 

“I will whistle for them and gather them in,

for I have redeemed them,

and they shall be as many as they were before. 

Though I scattered them among the nations,

yet in far countries they shall remember me,

and with their children they shall live and return. ...

I will make them strong in the Lord,

and they shall walk in his name,”

declares the Lord."

my desperate cries are rarely answered so clearly, but thank You for this. thank You Lord for knowing I am at the end of myself, for being gracious, for provin Yourself kind & gentle with the broken.