I've been freaking about this day, dreading it. never dreaded June 10 before now. not sure why this year i was. maybe cause I'm not mature enough, I'm not where I wanted to be spiritually--have I been lazy this past year even more than I thought? have I just wasted 365 days of my life? I'm not where I saw myself in life--but I've always tried to follow God. this can't have been His plan!
but today I set all those questions aside & just lived it. I know God's hand is upon me. I know that for all my wandering, I sought Him in every big life decision--sometimes I fought His leading but there has never been one He let me go my own way. He always wins those battles! He never left me. even when I have tried to run, He never let me go. so here I am. it is what it is. I'm here, there's nothing I can change about it. people may judge & think whatever they want too; but my heart knows I've tried to walk Gods path for me faithfully. failed in alot of ways. but never left it by His almighty grace!! honestly, even if I could change past decisions...I don't think I would. I'm where God wants me. nobody has to believe it but me.
I'm grateful for the beauty in:
family. especially mum she went through the hard work of labor 25 years ago! & my fam, we love through thick n thin no matter how intense our disagreements are at times. I need my parents, my brothers & my sister.
new Justin cowboy boots still can't believe the women in my cg bought me these!!!!
the love those boots represent I am NOT alone. or forgotten. God sees & loves me, just like His people do.
coffee ice cubes
yellow guy Harvey shirts that bring the ocean into work
delightful children so lucky in my job!
long-distance phone calls from Elinor that reconnect. & plug me into what i miss most, sharing the everyday of life.
birthday letters, beach baskets & anchors
oh hey cheers to the day of your birth texts from friends whom you've known since childhood & newer ones who you didn't even know knew the date!
Ireland castle books
Comrade for seeing Jesus in me where I cannot
so much more to be thankful for...but it's a start! believing this next year to be less self-centered & more joyful than the last.
((i didn't have a theme song, that was kinda wierd))