girl in the war

"I got a {girl in the war} paul, the |only thing I know to do| // is turn up the music & pray that she makes it _through_"

"listen, you know those days when you get the mean reds?"

"the mean reds; you mean the blues?"

"no. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. the mean reds are horrible. suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of..."

it's not that there's nothing going on in my head or heart. there just aren't words for it. or I'm sure there are. kinda. somewhere there are letters floating around that could do...I just don't how to find them & arrange them properly to form the exact words I need to match what's inside. so instead. I listen to an awful lot of music & read other people's words that resonate with what mine should be. & wait.