6.06.2013

come (here)


I found the following reposted on a tmblr I check often called bloom. I don't know the original author (A tmblr called heartbeat-of-a-twentysomething ?) but wanted to share it. bc it's really good, & it's a place I've been before. it's a place I'm entering again...I need Jesus with me. I always do, but lately I've been livin as if I don't. I forgot that one needs Christ in ALL seasons. even here. here in the in-between of seasons without any high or low.

& I think. my denial of need, my desperately wanting to be *not* wanting of anything, (ha.ha. im ridiculous no?) my "if i pretend im great maybe i will be"...this has caused me to live in the flatland of just getting by. merely existing. so if you know me, I need help. I need people asking me if I'm fighting or just standing. ask me where my sword is. ask me if I'm inviting God to be _here_ in my life as is. cause i use to live like this girl does. I've been at the utter end of hope; begging "Jesus i can't even breathe i just need You here, with me." & on the mountaintop of delight: "Jesus this view  is astounding, please be here so i don't treasure it more than You." i can start now! anyway here are better words than mine:
"You know when you were little and you would yell for your mom or dad and they would usually ask, “What do you need?” As a kid, you have trouble explaining or you really don’t have a good reason so you just say, “Just come here.”
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of, “Jesus, can you just come here?” I’ve become His child that feels lost in direction and heart and I feel a loss for words. So I just started saying those simple words, whether that’s praying in the shower or running on the beach, I just invited Him to come with me. I wanted Him with me. I don’t need a reason or know what I want or need, I just need to ask if He’ll come here and hold me close and tell me He’s not going anywhere.
I’m thankful for a God that gives me hope and joy in His presence. I’m thankful, even in my confusion and waiting. I think that not knowing what to say to Him is part of some of the best moments you’ll ever experience with Jesus. Why? They’re pure, childlike faith that He’s still there."

1 comment:

Abi said...

Woah... thank you.