my mouth is stopped, humbled,...and sometimes i wonder if that separation, that ripping & tearing was the real means of death. 

but all i know is sweet sweet relief. He's here. silent, but here. He never left...He has been pursuing me.  
there aren't words.
repentance & forgiveness & learning & growing will come...
but for now i just fall at the feet of the One who's been running behind me this entire time. Who's paid a far greater higher infintely more painful cost than i am capable of.
the hound of Heaven who pursues, truly.