abi gives me a reason to believe in God's goodness. she LOVES Jesus & pursues Him no matter what. she has a hard time saying the words "i" & "love"; which is funny b/c dang, she says it without words far better than almost anybody i know! she has a talent for writing. a magic with words. she's astounding. oh, did i mention she's one of my childhood best friends ever?! yeah. THAT'S how i KNOW God loves me!! seriously. she is an example of Christ's love for me. i never feel in danger of losing her friendship. no matter how unloving, self-focused, doubtful, selfishly downcast i am. she's never given up on me. no matter what, she'd still fight for me. still encourage me. still listen. i'm not sure how i know this, i just do. i never feel as if i could, or need to, earn her friendship. i just have it. the same way i just have Jesus love-- that is not typical of me. i don't think i'm a very lovable sort & i don't trust people. i'm secure in hers, in this friendship / sisterhood. How kind He is!
THE biggest gift she gives is in making Jesus more beautiful to me, in whatever way I need it. sometimes, that means stabbing me with truth. she convicts me. pushes me to love Jesus more, reveals areas i question Him, asks hard questions. sometimes directly, sometimes the Lord just uses her without her knowing. her direct correction is painful, but loving. truly the "faithful are the wounds of a friend" kind. she takes the time to know me, to really find out where my heart is first. so it goes down easily. perhaps it's because i respond to gentleness, and her direct correction is always honest, gentle& loving. i feel that she legit cares for me when she cares for my soul. prob helps that we have the same mind & heart 90% of the time...lol. God uses her as His scalpel. i am so grateful for it.
i can't come close to returning the blessing & encouragement abi gives me. i want to! even though i never feel like i have to, in fact that makes me want to try all the more...
thanks for being a spot of yellow in my life too abi. you're part of how Jesus makes life beautiful.