sometimes i don't have words

((often)). especially when there is so much going on inside of me...good things & heart things & my head trying to sort it all out but realizing some things in life, are not logicalness. sometimes God gives us situations. that require trusting. blind following. resting in His plans & knowledge and the joy of being okay with knowing only that He is in control. i put on my pointe shoes today. and danced until i was shakily beyond breathing. as if i could dance my emotions into articulation...if only i could!! if only i had movements for my heart. sigh. news flash: i an't do a fouette en pointe anymore. only one rotation and the ankle gives out, so tragical. haha. mmm. so here i am sitting in my room. back supported by a sea coloured wall, hurting rubbed raw feet stretched out in front of me. the warmth of the laptop easing sore legs. allie moss & eminem sharing my grooveshark.

and my heart is so full.

my head confused,

but peacefully resting on an anchor stronger than me.

and i have no words.

they're trapped,

trapped in my chest like a swallow in a cage.

but i don't feel suffocated.

cause God knows what the hell is going on.

and i am...

JOYFUL. FREE. LIGHTHEARTED. and feeling, for the first time in my life actually FEELING & not fighting to believe, that HE cares for me.

truly cares. like a father for a daughter, not just loving...actively taking care of me.

(^seems messily throwing thoughts is the thing of late^)