5.20.2011

perfect love casts out fear

"there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4.18
"Nothing can separate me from the love of God.*
NOTHING. EVER.
Christ Jesus, my Savior, has redeemed me. has set me free from my sin. sin is no longer my slave master. no longer divides me from God.
Therefore. Nothing can separate, sever me.
Not sin. not too much serving. not business. not hatred. not fear. not satan nor demons. not hurt or pain or loss. not joy. not good blessings. NOTHING!!
How can this be? How can such unbelievable goodness be true? What about my filth, my unbelief, my pride, my whoring, my distrust? my unfaithfulness, my abuse of good gifts?
It. is. Finished.
None of this (^) affects that*, the truth that He loves me. that truth never changes. the sins and wanderings of my heart, they affect my reception, my believing, my feeling this truth. but they don't actually touch the reality of it. and this, this overwhelming love. the reality of it, the unchangingness of it, the depth of undeserved, free, un-earned therefore unloseable LOVE is God's answer. He meets me with love. that's it! all i hear, all i feel. it undoes me. it moves me to surrender fully, to not fight, to repentance, to sweet freeing trust. to cast myself upon Him.
because perfect love, casts out, ALL fear!!"

i experienced the truth of this scripture today. ^that's what i wrote in my journal during dock time. that was my answer from the Lord. He is insanely GOOD!

i've been seriously struggling with fear this week. i've been too busy with "good" things that aren't "first" things. i haven't spent the time with Jesus i needed. i haven't been abiding in Him or dwelling in His presence. i've been running hard in my own strength. trying to fill up without stopping, attempting to pour out much more than i have to give. pride, self-sufficiency, and consequently every other sin have been running rampant in my heart and overflowing onto those closest to me all week long.

so this morning i went to my Jesus-in-concentration spot. packed up the trusy ipod, bible and notebook and planned to be on the dock as long as it took. until all my sin was confessed. all my cares cast. all my fear looked at in the face. i was pretty certain i'd be corrected, probably informed of areas that needed to change. well, as i was recieving His delightful forgiveness. He poured out his rich love on me and i already wrote all about that...so yeah. story of the day.

((if today had a soundtrack, it'd be prodigal by the Micheal Gungor band, i need you to love me by barlow girls, nothing but the blood, sweetly broken by jeremy riddle, and of course. divine romance by phil wickham.))

1 comment:

Abi said...

AMEN. Girl, you're a treasure, seriously an insane blessing in my life! Greg taught about doubt last night at group. SOOOOOOOOOO BAM GOOD! Sending you the notes soon :)