3.31.2011

spillage.

ah,words. such a love/hate relationship...necessary evil little things. wish i could survive without the sometimes. okay lots of times. i don't like confining the ideas in my head into letters.
words are supposed to be releasing.
often,
i feel more.
en(caged) by them.
not sure why that is. well let's not lie, i've thought about it. (damn i mean what HAVEN'T i thought about) and i could give multiple reasons why i think they make me feel trapped...but the main purpose in verbally throwing up here is to still my analytical mind.
i just can't keep up with all that God is showing me.
pretty certain that's the point.
i'm not supposed to be trying. not mentally anyway. i don't have to figure anything out, i don't have to understand, i'm just supposed to be faithful.
in everyday.mundane.obediance.
ohhh hooray. doesn't that sound like an adventure...says the heart full of faith.

Oh girl of little faith. where the hell IS your heart? how can your memory be so short? you are not faithful. untrue.

Jesus. He is faithful when i'm not. LOVE JESUS. <<< that's it. the entire point of my existence, if we break it down to basics. Love Jesus dams. serve & prefer others. if the Lord's got your heart...you're good to go!

2 comments:

DearVoid said...

<3 i can't wait to talk... well listen tomorrow!

Abi said...

amen comrade. It's interesting, these past few days God is seriously pushing me to deal with my heart and its emotions, not just turn them off and ignore them when they become disturbing. I can't wait to see you again and talk and talk and talk and... yeah.