becoming slightly more faithful.

I've had an unplanned blog haitus. Life is very busy. Nothing new or changing circumstantially (despite my attempts haha) just busier. Spiritually, I feel like God is setting off fireworks inside. There is so much going on under the surface. I'm overwhelmed. It's impossible to express... much less understand it all! I'll try to write some of it out later. It would be good for me to get it out of my head and into the semi-reality of words.
A point of reference for what will come later. (don't you love the vagueness) This song is where my soul has been for many months. A good /difficult place. Difficult because I see more and more my unfaithfulness and impatience. Good because what He reveals He works on; and in seeing my great sinfulness I have also seen His great grace. He allowed me to feel how great is my desperation for Him. He did not allow me to feel His closeness. I should shut up and let Brooke Fraser speak for me.

There’s distance in the air
And I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms ‘round about me
And blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close

Though I know you’re always here
But the comfort of you near
Is what I long for

When I can’t feel you
I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can’t hear you
I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you
More than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you
Maybe I’m made more faithful

All the folly of the past
Though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one
Still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name

And let it roll around my tongue
Knowing you’re the only one who knows me
You know me


Mac said...

It is definitely a good thing to realize how much we are sinful and hopeless, because if we didn't see, it would be even HARDER to correct it.

DearVoid said...

amen! great song. and i love you <3

Candace said...

"despite my attempts haha" You are too funny and oh so humble! It's great to hear how the Lord has been at work in you lately! Thanks for sharing!

Andrew said...

Great post... I'm afraid I've spent much more of my life so far keenly aware of my own desperation than not... but maybe as you say, that could be a good thing.

Jason Mills said...

I love that song. Keep pressing in! I can't wait to hear all about what GOd's doing in you through this "vagueness" :)
"I would be more submissive if I could slay dragons!" <3

Jason Mills said...

oops, I'm signed in as Jason but this is really Abby :o)

dams said...

i have good friends. seriously.

{{glad you clarified abby...i was thinking "wow jason, i mean you're like my own brother but that's an unusual speech for you..."}}