(encircled)

i need to hear this:

you came down

a light into the darkness

to souls that once were hopeless you gave joy

at calvary, you gave your life to save us

the righteous for unrighteous

so we could know your grace

you are good

and your mercy lasts forever

you are good to me

you are good

and your grace could not be measured

i am yours

forever you are with me

encircling, defending my soul

and when i fall

you draw me through your mercy

you faithfully forgive me

you lift me up again

When I think of my grandfather, it's tempting to ask "where's goodness?" Even as I pray for God to act, I wonder will He choose too. As if that is my business. It looks like Grandpa Benjamin is forgotten. But NO. He is encircled. Surrounded by God's constant care. Nothing can touch him apart from God's will. He is secure.

I need to remember. I need to believe. My heart is deceitful. I fool myself into thinking I am trusting God when in reality I'm working on "dams practical plans A, B and C for saving her family, friends and the world in general." What arrogance! I can't even save me from myself, but hey, I am going to save you. Job 38-42 is incredibly helpful. To paraphrase God's words to my own soul: Did I create the heavens? Do I know what lies in the depths of the oceans? Am I good [on my own]? Am I infinite?

No, no, no, no.

Therefore, how can I expect to understand the plans of God? He IS infinite and good. He created the heavens, earth, humans, life itself. I cannot expect to grasp the will of One whom I cannot even understand fully. That is how Job helps. It humbles me. It shows my pride and sinful motives. It reminds me I'm growing in trust. Still learning how to fully surrender every day. But it also gives hope as it displays God's greatness, majesty, brilliancy, glory.
What do I do with changed perspectives? Rest. In the fact that I, and all those who trust in Him, are always encircled by goodness. Practically applying it all...still figuring that out.