"out of the wellspring of the heart the mouth speaks"

A few days ago, I saw a glimpse into my heart. I was shocked. My words revealed a part of me that did NOT say "whatever my God ordains is right."

I was praying for a certain circumstance. As I prayed Romans 8.28 I couldn't believe what words came out: "God, may this be for our sooner good." Oh how easily sin hides! I'm ashamed to admit I'd think that. While I was praying, no less! The words themselves are not sinful, but what they reveal about my heart. I know my sin shouldn't surprise me. Too often it does. It hides itself well, and I'm too willing to let it stay hidden. God is not. Nor is He shocked. He knows what I'm capable of--even more than I do. Yet He willingly forgives. He sent His Son to take my just punishment. Fully knowing every sin I'd ever commit...What relieving freedom! Freedom that lessens the gravity of sin? By no means! Nor does it hinder sorrow over my sin. It provides a freedom to receive grace. Mine is a salvation based not on what I do, but on what Christ DiD. Anyway I ought to quite rambling and just let Paul speak for me:

"But now the righteousness of God has been manifested

apart from the law,

although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it—

the righteousness of God

through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe.

For there is no distinction:

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

and are justified by his grace as a gift,

through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,

whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood,

to be received by faith.

This was to show God’s righteousness, because

in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins."

Rom 3.21-25

{{I share this so ya'll will know my heart needs constant watch. Yes, I can say I trust God, that overall I'm content with what He ordains. It is true. (only as He's done that work) But I still don't always win the everyday battles. I'm thankful He exposes my heart. Stands ready to forgive. And to supply grace for next time. It is far more than I deserve!}}