wild melody

"...they were all very well meaning, but [...] they'd say was 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' the problem with that was [...] I felt like I was actually broken. That things could happen in your life that would just break a man, that not only you wouldn't be stronger--but that you would never again have what you had before. And I felt that things had slipped in such a way that I would never be able to recover." i was moved to the point of aching throat from tears unshed by this story. i found it after listening to the Ted talk "A Story of Knots & Surgeons" which was moving; but this version of the story was far more powerful. because it was relatable. It enabled me to identify my own pain, to remember that ( i am not alone ) & ( you are far from the only one walking through this ) are not empty words i tell myself. they're real. oh & btw, i too want to punch people in the face when they say "everything ha...

" Come in and trade your tears All worry and ease your fears Your burden is not unknown Don't run friend you're not alone For all confined come be set free For all the blind that long to see Come and receive the perfect relief  Come and believe He bore your grief Rise up as the war has ceased No bondage you have been released Come all you weak and contrite He'll strengthen and clothe you in white" Relief--Wolves at the Gate [ I am not the first ] whispered it's way into my mind along with the pressure to let go, to rest. I'm not the first to be here, in this seemingly never ending winter-desert.   I was crushed under the weight of all the people i have lost. as if memory were a blanket made of steel wool suffocating my heart. it's been a long time since I've felt so desperate for my grandmothers' prayers & laughter. my grandfather's steady safety, great-grandma's delighted treasuring, Aunt ...